Sunday, 7 February 2010
Late night postings
I knew when I started this blog that I'd probably be up late at night posting things...my thoughts before going to sleep, musings on the day, etc. Tonight I'm in a quandary, and somehow I sense that no amount of thinking is going to get me out of it or get me anywhere. I'm at a crossroads in my life, I can feel it. But instead of a crossroads that looks simple and with a clearly posted sign that points in one direction and says, 'The Right Way to Go' and the other direction that might say, 'Don't Take This Path,' I'm standing in a pit of mud with a couple of vague shapes in the dirt looking like they might be paths off into a new place.
I've gotten to a place in my life where I intuitively feel I need to make some choices, yet the harder I try to make these decisions, the more the answers evade me. What I'd hoped for was a clear and calm Yes or No. I almost didn't care which, just longed for some clear answer to come to me. But this isn't happening. And sometimes I think the longer I dwell at the crossroads the more stuck in the mud my feet will get.
All I want to do is to stop thinking so much, just go with my intuition. But right now I feel like my intuition which usually works like SatNav is in an area that's not picking up any signal. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz all fuzz and no clarity. Where the hell is that town I was heading towards? zzzzzzzzz no idea. Ok, well what about that rest stop along the motorway I could pull into? zzzzzz no sign of it either. So I'm out in a forest on my own and with no compass (not that I can read a compass to save my life anyway). So what do I do?
One of my favourite poems of all time probably holds the answer, 'Lost' by David Wagoner:
'Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.'